Hi, Im lazy to blog.

Im looking forward to tomorrow.

And yesterday was great.

Bye.

(:

Because he has been a major part of your life, of course you’ll miss him; its perfectly normal. Its like getting a tooth pulled out ; after te dentist pulls it out youre relieved.

But how many times does your tongue run itself over th spot where th tooth once was? Probably a hundred times a day.

Just because it was hurting you does not mean you dont notice it. It leaves a gap, and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. Its going to take awhile, but it takes time .

Should you have kept th tooth? No, because it was causing you pain.

Pulling th tooth was th right decision, but its going to hurt.

Maybe I wasnt asking you to love me, maybe I was asking you to understand, because for so long Ive been hurt & for so long youve ignored it, and maybe it is bad timing, but maybe, I dont care.

Ive been here all along just waiting, waiting for you to notice, waiting for you to care. Waiting for you to say that youve been waiting too, and you havent. And maybe you never will or maybe youre afraid to.

But it all hurts th same. In th end, Im th one thats left broken & when I lay down to sleep, Im still th one crying. So screw th bad timing.

Ive loved you then, like I love you now, like I probably always will.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isnt it?

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest & it opens your heart, & it means someone can get inside you & mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you. Then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.

You give them a piece of you. They dont ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isnt your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out & leaves you crying in th darkness, so a simple phrase like ‘maybe we should just be friends’ or ‘how very perceptive’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts.

Not just in th imagination. Not just in th mind.

Its a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

- Neil Gaman, Sandman: The Kindly Ones

Maybe Im scared ;

Scared that th person that has meant so much to me for so long, might actually be falling out of my grasp.

Yet, theres nth I can do to stop him.

I’m so tired of you confusing me. Really I am

And its like each time I feel that Ive made a little progress with moving on, you do something like hugging me and saying you love me. Please just stop playing your games with me.

Don’t get me thinking there’s a chance when all you really want is to reassure yourself that I still love you. It hurts me, because I do still love you. Damn you for not letting me go.

Stop holding onto my heart. I was nice enough to give it to you, can’t you be nice enough to return it now that you’re done using it?

As I stand here looking at you, I wonder if there will ever be a day when I will get over your smile.
When I will let go of the hugs you gave me, a day that I continue to feel.
A day when I forget the words you said to me.
Whatever happens to us, I know I could never get over, let go of, or forget about you.

Thanks eh. I love doing / feeling this way.

1. Fine:

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right & you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes:

If shes getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around th house.

3. Go Ahead:

This is a dare, not permission. Dont Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh:

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks youre an idiot & wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.

(Refer quickly to No 9 for th meaning of nothing.)

5. That’s Okay:

This is one of th most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. Thats okay means she wants to think long & hard before deciding how & when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks:

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say youre welcome.

(I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’, which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.

DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever:

Is a woman’s way of saying, “F— YOU!”

8. Don’t worry about it, I got it:

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing:

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in “Fine”.

Yeayo. Had rewang at Chua Chu Kang yesterday.

Malas sungguh nk pegi initially, since it was raining damn heavily.

But just pegi aje lorr. Better than duduk rumah, doing nth. Heh.

Did nth much. Just played card games & stuffs.

At around 1o3o plus gitu, went back home to take stuffs, then tdo pat rumah Wati.

Woohoo! Hahahah.

Kinda rushing laa of course. Then end up kua rumah kol 113o.

Rushed to interchange, hoping to catch th last bas to CCK.

But sedih sungguh, th last bus was at 113o. Pathetic kan?

-.-

So, took 178 ke 187. Then drop at somewhere daerah CCK situ.

But we still need to walk quite a distance before can smpai Wati's daerah rumah.

Naseb baek ade orang jalan jugak. Only when we almost reaching daerah rumah Wati situ, tkd orang langsung. Sunyi sepi doh.

Naseb baek tkd bnde pelik or whatsoever. Hehehe, dahlaa orang besar pnye penakut. Hahahah.

So, reached her house at arnd o11o gitu.

Wash up & baring baring sume, then knock out.

& thanks yaw for teman-ing not physically. Heheheh.

:D

Wati & Atul

Atul & Aynn

I hated the person he had become,

th person that loved me then changed. Changed into someone who left me in ruins.

As I hated the person he became, why do I love him still?

Maybe it is the memory of th happy times of what I know is still there.

Or maybe I just dont want to admit I cared so much more than he ever could.

When it comes to the game of life, it seems that there are those who win because they dare to ask the universe and the people in it for what they want. Some signs of the Zodiac are definitely pushier than others and, in some ways, that can translate into being more successful than others. Zodiac signs can look at which are the pushiest signs, to the extent that they are bullies, and which signs tend to be so people pleasing that they are practically doormats.

The sign of the Fish is Christian and pacifist in nature and for the most part will turn the other cheek. However, as doing so, they will also paint a portrait of themselves as martyrs. The Pisces native is a master when it comes to making others feel guilty. Their other expert tact at bullying is to never answer directly when a question is posed to them. Keeping others on their toes and on a constant “need to know” basis keeps their enemies frustrated and confused. They also win battles by mirroring their competition and doing exactly what they do, which once again infuriates and flusters them. This complex sign looks self-less and loving but is in fact incredibly manipulative and selfish.

As far as being a bully goes, your sign does have some talents. You walk that fine line from between persuasive and pushy. You are a great salesperson and can sell anything, including yourself. Your main tact is not giving anyone else too much time to think too hard about what you are saying. Before they know it, they are agreeing with you and getting out their wallet to buy from you or deciding to jump in bed with you or whatever you want. You are also not beyond making fun of or belittling those weaker than you.

The Gemini is a verbal bully and can talk so fast and only about him or herself that the other person just does not have a chance to get a word in edgewise. These glamorous creatures also believe in stealing the limelight whenever they can. They do this through dressing provocatively, being funny, or simply just speaking loudly at parties and in public places. They are not beyond creating a scene or mocking others if they feel ignored. This is all part of their agenda to be the center of the universe.

The Crab is definitely one of the complete pushovers in the Zodiac. They will often cry or try to make people feel guilty if things don’t go their way, but all this does is make them seem powerless and insecure to others. Occasionally, this emotional blackmail works, but mostly Cancers try to gain control of situations by doing favors for other people. Usually, they are very much taken for granted and often others also take credit for their work. If a Crab does stand up for him or herself, it is usually accompanied by an emotional outburst.

The Leo is a notorious bully and one of the worst of the twelve signs when it comes to intimidation both physically and psychologically. This sign is charismatic and has a huge boisterous presence that is difficult to ignore in the first place. The Leo is not beyond yelling at or snubbing someone in a public place. They will also use sarcasm, verbal abuse, bigotry, and belittling to make someone else feel about two inches tall.

This sign is an expert at emotional blackmail. They seem nice enough, but they can really shovel out the guilt. They control others by pretending to be flawless and in control and then belittling others when they don’t make the grade. However, not all Virgos are so controlling and pushy. Some like to make others feel guilty by doing everything over again when it is not done right the first place.

This sign needs constant approval from others and is just not that pushy. However, being the sign of the scales, this sign simply cannot tolerate injustice and will fly off the handle and become very violent and abusive if they think that someone or something (like an animal) is being treated unfairly or tortured. This sign becomes very aroused when they think it is time to fight for the sake of an underdog.

This is a very shifty and sly minded sign so the bullying that is done is quite subtle. The Scorpion is more manipulative than anything. The Scorpio native is also excellent at personal politics and has an entire armory of defense mechanisms, passive aggressive tactics, and downright sneaky and deceptive behaviors that are used to succeed in life.

The Archer is quite happy go lucky and is one of those signs that does not have its own way. This is a philosophically and spiritually sophisticated sign that believes that states of personal power and success are transient. Although many people see this sign as being a bit of a pushover, he or she just does not care. This Zodiac sign can also manage to get its own way simply by being very positive and encouraging to others, which are opposite of the tact of many of the other signs. Like Olivia de Havilland in “Gone With The Wind,” they tend to get their own way by killing others with kindness.

This materialistic sign is quite bossy and controlling, but in a way that is quite ineffectual. The result is that the Goat does not always get what he or she wants. Self-sabotage is a constant habit. The Goat’s favorite way of bullying is to withhold the privilege of sex or communication from a loved one. They are also experts at turning the cold shoulder when they feel affronted and are capable of holding a grudge for many years. They are experts when it comes to maintaining a feud and disdain the idea of building bridges! They would rather be the winner that takes it all in all disputes!

This new age sign does not like to fight and it shows. They often get completely stepped on in life. The Aquarian is the optimistic, nice individual whose good graces are despised and taken advantage of. However, these master pushovers of the Zodiac must be admired for their ability to constantly be knocked down and get up and start again. They don’t let anyone daunt them psychologically and, for that, they must be admired. Some Aquarians resort to a bit of passive aggression, usually in the form of avoidance or changing the subject in order stay away from conflicts. Sometimes not showing up to the battle is one way to win it!

Ohyeah.

Outs with these people yesterday.

Met Ateeqs & Hafiz pat Queensway. Then off to Clarke Quay cause Ateeqs want buy earpiece.

Then off to Somerset, to meet th rest pat sane.

Ateeqs & her matahek bought kasut sume.

Then off to Plaza Singapura to makan.

Th initial plan was to eat pat Pizza Hut. I thought makan pat tmpt biase kite makan seh which is pat Bugis situ.

But then, its not. Unfortunately, Pizza Hut kene tunggu arnd 1 hour plus gitu cause full house.

So, ate pat Swensens.

Th waiting time was long jugak, till I feel like eating KFC.

Somemore, its mengenyangkn & affordable mahh.

But then, tkpelaa. Just ate pat Swensens. Skali skale anw.

Ateeqs matahek = badut

Hahaha, hes seriously funny. Kekek sia.

=P

Arnd 10 plus gitu, off we go.

Enjoyable day baybeh. Heeeee.

IDK WHAT TO SAY + IDK WHAT TO DO = STRESS!

" Damn, it's like living a nightmare these days. Almost everyone is telling me to let things stay the way they are. You people told me stuffs like, you'll be a lot closer to her this way, or both of you are worlds apart, or even, you've fallen for the wrong girl or any other reasons. I know you guys are trying to help, saying that it's sort of for my own good and stuffs, but it ain't helping right now. I'll just end up putting a deaf ear.

I don't mean to be rude but yes, i am sick and tired hearing of stuffs that i don't wish to hear. It's demoralising and sad to know all of these. Arghh, right now i am just typing out what's inside my mind. And yeah, she's part of those thoughts too. Thoughts of her never fail to cloud my mind each day to be honest.

I do not know if i am suppose to be feeling this way. It's like i've really fallen for her. Sigh, i wish it would be the same for her towards me, but sadly it ain't going to happen. I am really trying my hardest to reach out to you and giving myself hope even though there's none, to the point that everyone notices this. But there's just no magic happening, no changes, na-thing. Stupid of me to think that i could ever hold you in my arms.

Gahh, maybe i should just listen you when you said don't hope for too much. But then again, even if you hadn't told me that, i would still have feelings for you. Afterall, feelings of love can't be control or can it?

Hmm. I've tried telling myself that i weren't the one for you. But the more i told myself that, the more i didn't believe it. Instead, the more i wished you were beside me. One thing's for sure though, I am glad that you read my previous posts. It brings a smile to my face to know that. The aim of those entries is just to express myself and tell you how much you meant to me. But somehow, it doesn't seem that way. Instead, i guess you're feeling more guilt.

I am sorry if it did turn out that way, cause it never was suppose to. Oh well, i can't think of anything right now other than to keep on wishing, to be by your side and hope for the best. But it's quite clear isn't it, the answer i mean.

Gahh. Frustrations frustrations, hmm.

Maybe i should stop here since i'm out of words, so i guess till here. "

" Somehow tonight, my mind is full of thoughts. I don't know why either. Maybe it's because of the questions that were brought up to me by my friends. Most of them were asking whether am i going to wait for her, or am i going to just give up halfway. Some even said stuffs that didn't even come across my mind.

To be honest, i'd wish i knew the answers myself. I've already spent these few days thinking about it and i still haven't found the answers to those questions. Yes, i do love you and yes, i do wish to be the guy who brings happiness to you every single day. The feeling i get when i am with you, is unexplainable. If i have to explain in a word or so, i would simply just put in two words, pure happiness. Hehe.

Sadly, at the same time doubts do appear. Doubts like whether i could live up to your expectations, and how am i going to make that sweet smile of yours to stay every single day. Hmm, honestly i don't care what others think of you. They don't know you like i do. They thought you're just some normal or even typical girl, but they thought wrong. You're more than that. You're near to perfection in my eyes. Let them say what they want to, it won't matter. Cause at the end of the day, it'll be me who will be chasing you, not them.

Saying these ain't enough. These sayings must be accompanied by actions of care and concern, which is what i've been trying to show you all this while. But somehow, they are just not enough to reach you. And that's sad.

always dreamt of us together, sitting, holding hands while watching the sunset. Yes, it sounds like i'm in some fantasy world but so what if i am, it's me that i am talking about, not you. Everyone can critisize and say whatever they want, but in the end i'll still be dreaming and not caring what other people might say about it. Sigh, god knows how am i feeling right now. Day in day out, i keep thinking what's the missing piece that he has and i don't. That missing piece surely meant a lot to you, till to the point that you are holding back and not letting it go. He must be a lucky guy to have gotten your attention, and care and concern. I wonder has he realised that.

Hmm, if i were him, i would surely treasure it and try my best not to ever make you frown or make a single tear drops, not even for a second. Oh well, life for me right now do sucks and is unfair.

Like i said previously, i did everything sincerely but yet i am in the losing end. Sigh, i hope this beautiful nightmare will end soon. And i hope the ending will be a happy one, not for me but for you. Yes, for you. Because at the end of the day, i just wish and want to see you smiling ever so widely and happily.

Hee. Till then. "

My storytelling just now was a disappointment.
I was damn tense & nervous.
Gahhh!
Sedih man.
=(

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "Im fine" after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl lays on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says 'I love you', she means it.
When a girl says 'I miss you', no one in this world can miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ;
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you & how lucky he is to have you.
Who turns to his friends and says, "Thats her!"

After cycling

Fuck you.